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Fri Apr 30 2010 22:32:42

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

By: Ina Steiner

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When eBay CEO John Donahoe gave his presentation at the company's annual shareholders meeting, there was a moment when I thought he was reciting Dr. Seuss.

David couldn't resist listening for himself, and before I could say Green Eggs and Ham, he was putting John's words to music.

David pulled together pieces from the presentation and, in fact, there's an interesting juxtaposition of two sound bites - one in which John claims eBay has economically aligned itself with sellers, and the other in which he explains that eBay will side with buyers in disputes. It was something I didn't catch when listening to the presentation.

The result of David's audio mix is like any good parody: educational, thought-provoking, and entertaining. You can find the 3-minute audio file on the Podcast page. Enjoy.




Comments (62) | Permalink

Readers Comments

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: On Lies and Secrets This user has validated their user name.

Fri Apr 30 23:00:55 2010

BRAVO!!!!

Love the Auctionbytes remix of an ebay shareholder meeting.  You really rocked it.  

The Emperor has no clothes. Thanks for telling it like it is.

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Fruity This user has validated their user name.

Fri Apr 30 23:04:21 2010

"Economically aligned itself with sellers"

I saw that in an episode of my favorite 80s teevee show, the A-Team. What they did was they had a bunch of thugs that went into the neighborhood and they shook down every Mom & Pop business in that block for money. Only ebay would rebrand A HOLD UP to now be known as economic alignment

So I think we can learn from the A-Team, Mr. T and Murdock. The way the sellers err I mean the victims err neighborhood shops did was they had to HIRE a Bigger set of THUGS to get them off their backs.


"eBay will side with buyers in disputes"
That's really really funny. I wonder if John Donahoe will continue to say that after all of us ebay sellers include our little stickies alerting them that for 10 years, they could of gotten all of their money back from those rip offs by going direct to their credit card and bank and doing a chargeback. John D, the only reason why you can say that is because you can continue to take our money from our accounts. You won't be able to do this by the end of the year.

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

This user has validated their user name. by: Mercy the Mingless

Sat May 1 00:03:10 2010

Johnny show me that you care, really care, for me. (A Seller's Lament)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Mew5kyTDw0

(Maze
l
David & Ina!)

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: LOVE IT....ROTFL

Sat May 1 00:16:18 2010

Ebay was really hot....then along I came...now it's NOT and Amazon is hot...then it's still hot and getting hotter by the day!

What draw is going to make Ebay "Hot" again?

70% fixed price Chinese trinkets en mass flooding every page in every category doesn't seem real hot to me!

What would make ebay HOT again is a JD pink slip.

I don't know how there was a dry eye in that room listening to that. I would have laughed until I cried at that presentation.
So this is an American CEO, WOW this country is in trouble!

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Another Wronged Seller This user has validated their user name.

Sat May 1 00:51:45 2010

David and Ina, I needed a good laugh tonight! thanks!

HOt HOt HOt!

The CEO is more like a BOT BOT BOT!

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Hot Hot Hot

Sat May 1 01:39:54 2010

eBay threw its seller base under the bus and even the dimmest proles know when they are being taken for a ride.

Reading between the lines in JD's speech, I think eBay know the marketplace is heading for AOL level irrelevance by 2015. Paypal is going to do well and all that offshore capital will other hustles, like, bill me later,....

Ebay's corporation will be hot for years to come, but they know the marketplace won't.

Still, being 5th or even 15th, will net them billions...

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Scott

Sat May 1 02:41:52 2010

Ebay is (or was) an AUCTION house.  

AUCTIONS are what made eBay a household name.

As D-Hole destroys the auction format, he also destroys eBay.  

Used to be hot, now it's not.  

Meanwhile, I just spent another thirty bucks on Amazon tonight.

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

This user has validated their user name. by: Philip Cohen

Sat May 1 04:51:17 2010

Well done, and proves that the eBafia Don can talk out of both sides of his mouth at the same time.

Still does not seem to be able to make up his mind which direction he wants to go.

What amazes me is that anyone can believe anything that this amoral, unscrupulous, sociopath has to say.

It says a lot about the intellectal capacity of journalists (haha) and the market analysts in particular.

Maybe this is the start of the Fall of Western Civilization. Sad ...

eBay/PayPal/Donahoe: Dead Men Walking

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

This user has validated their user name. by: Philip Cohen

Sat May 1 04:59:22 2010

And I would question whether PayPal is going to “continue doing well” in the long term now that Visa+CyberSource is out and about. Then, I doubt Donahoe ever had a long-term thought. The only question is, is Visa’s going after PayPal’s 16% share of the market worth $2 billion? If it puts eBay’s most ugly daughter, PayPal, back in its box, I would say, well worth it.

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Marvin This user has validated their user name.

Sat May 1 05:47:41 2010

It all makes perfect sense now! I understand why donahoe is so nutty. He's a loser. Said it himself on the podcast ''I love to win, drives me crazy if I don't win''.

It's obvious that donahoes thought process is rambling and incoherent, he is out to sea in the ebay/paypal row boat with just one oar, he can do nothing but go in circles while all the other boats pass him by.

ebay is not cold now, it's frozen solid, unthawing it will take a lot of time and I doubt most people are willing to wait that long.

As for Amazon, well, it's what donahoe made it. Take all the growth and sales of amazon over the last couple years, multiply it by 10 and that is what ebay threw away. Way to go. Captain donahoe.

Great audio mix David, very well done, speaks volumes. Made my weekend.

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Harriet This user has validated their user name.

Sat May 1 08:10:50 2010

That was TOO funny!

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: SleepyTime

Sat May 1 08:55:55 2010

I guess I was misunderstanding the words.  Sounded like to me he was saying

Ebay is going down the POT! POT! POT!

Thanks for the laugh David and Ina!

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: RicRoe

Sat May 1 09:03:18 2010

Ina & David,

Great job, John Donahoes resume set to music.

You should burn him a copy so he can include it when he sends out his resume.





eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Klown

Sat May 1 10:01:27 2010

Excellent editing David!

What an outstanding idiot.

What can one say?

Someone already did:

Ebay was really hot....then along I came...now it's NOT NOT NOT and Amazon is HOT HOT HOT

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: AB Fan Club

Sat May 1 11:09:26 2010

Excellent!
I bet Donahoe will love it.
We have every reason to believe he is a huge Dr. Suess fan too.



"In my world, everyone's a pony and they all eat rainbows and poop butterflies!"
— Dr. Seuss

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Doris Knight

Sat May 1 12:24:23 2010

Oh. My. God! --- Splendid! Genius!! Absolutely BRILLIANT!!

Best laugh I've had all week!

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: On Lies and Secrets This user has validated their user name.

Sat May 1 12:52:43 2010

'''eBay was really hot, then it's not.
Amazon was hot, then it was not, then it's hot, then be not.
And in retail, that's what happens, and in ecommerce, that's what's going to happen. Our focus is to be one of the winners in the ecommerce world, and not get distracted by what others are doing.''' -- John Donohoe

This sounds like an admission that ebay marketplaces is in decline.  This is a weak argument to explain poor performance - IMO, ebay senior management is always looking for a scapegoat to cover up its gross incompetence and mismanagement.  This argument suggests that the fates are behind ebay's decline - the company is magically hot for no reason and then it magically isn't hot anymore and when it isn't hot it isn't because of bad management.  The problem with this argument is that ebay management cannot take credit for causing things to go well if they won't accept responsibility for when things go badly (and things have been going badly for some time).  

This whole shoddy line of rhetoric and impoverished reasoning leads me to the opinion that Donohoe is simpleminded person.  I don't understand why shareholders stand idly by and allow such flawed logic and stupid discourse to be stated in their presence without calling him out on it.  Donohoe must think shareholders are so stupid that he can get away saying anything to them.  

He claims to ''not get distracted by what others are doing'' yet a sentence or two before is talking about Amazon's performance.  You can't have it both ways.

The last line in the quote is the language of defeat - to paraphrase:  ''we *want* be *one* of the winners''.  It looks like Donahoe has completely given up on actually being the best and admits that greatness may be beyond the ebay corporation anymore.

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Patricia This user has validated their user name.

Sat May 1 12:59:56 2010

Dr. Seuss fan?  No....I think not....he's definitely more a Puff the Magic Dragon fan...puffing away LOL

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Troglodyte

Sat May 1 13:30:49 2010

Let's all not lose sight of what Donahoe's "we'll always side with the buyer" and what opened complaints counting against discounts REALLY mean.

It means ebay has found still more dishonest and amoral tricks to avoid paying the buyer when the seller is right.

This new policy change means that sellers will be coerced into quickly issuing refunds and giving in to even the most blatant buyer fraud and extortion and have NO recourse to recover the money from ebay.

Sounds to me that ebay must have had to pay out a lot of money in recent months to this new class of criminal buyers they've created, and Todd figured out a way to make sellers pay.

Folks, this is mafia style criminal activity -- organized postal fraud, blackmail, extortion, and theft encouraged, aided, and abetted by ebay.

Report them to the FBI MONDAY.

How much lower can Todd Litwak and his pond scum crew sink?

How many more ebay executives will have to get company paid home security systems?

eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold   eBay CEO Runs Hot and Cold

by: Patricia This user has validated their user name.

Sat May 1 14:20:31 2010

"How many more ebay executives will have to get company paid home security systems? "

You sure bring up a good point Trog.  Even will with millions of dollars compensation packages I wouldn't want to be any one of Donahoe's team.  They need bodyguards and always need to watch their backs.  That's no way to have to live.  They couldn't pay me enough for that kind of a life.

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